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If your ass is a chinese restaurant i'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend jerry vandergrift kissed me in home ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys i'm like you i like monster trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups i can do?
I just wish i was queer so i could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See i'm not queer i'm too ugly
But if i were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo
Phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if i was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with
'super dumb'
Ya see i'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon
I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before i'm in her underwear
I wish i was queer so i could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me