Оригинален текст
[Too $hort]
Ladies, listen up - this song is for you.
You know it's hard out there to find a dude,
But The Lonely Island's got three top-notch brothers.
So sit back and listen while they compliment each other.
[Andy]
My man 'Kiv is the shit.
Dude is thoughtful as fuck, plus his body is ripped.
He's a good listener even when he's exhausted,
And he's crazy hygienic, always brushing and flossing.
But that ain't nothing compared to my main man Jorm',
The most sensitive, caring dude I've ever known.
He's got that sweet smile, he's got that slow touch.
What's the sweet smell? Oh shit, he cooked you brunch!
[Jorma]
But hold up, my man Andy's got us both beat!
He makes a skinny margarita that's a wonderful treat.
Plus caramel eyes that are hella disarming.
He ain't no fucking Prince - my man is King Charming.
[Andy]
Jor' you're far to kind, and speaking of kindness,
My man 'Kiv's been diagnosed with colorblindness.
He loves all people, plus he's got the fat dick;
It's like a gold prick, all shiny and thick.
[Too $hort]
When they pitched me this song, they were kinda vague.
But I said "fuck it, I'm in" cause they said I'd get paid.
One thing's for sure, these dudes are weird motherfuckers.
So sit back and listen, watch 'em compliment each other.
[Akiva]
My man Jorm' fucks all night.
Call him Super Mario, cause he be laying the pipe.
He got the eye contact like only you in the room.
A modern-thinking man, he ain't afraid of a broom.
[Jorma]
Yo, you talking feminism? Andy loves that shit.
Plus the femme fatales love him cause he's got good dick.
And he's a giver: donates hella money to charity.
He's also got a great sense of humooooooor - that's personality.
[Andy]
I hate to interrupt, but I gotta interject.
'Kiv grinds his own espresso, has his own panini press.
[Jorm]
'Kiv! So loyal when he makes his pack,
That he'll only think of you when he's jacking his dick.
[All]
He's a shoulder to cry on when you're down in the dumps.
He's an outfit to try on when you need a slam dunk.
He's an extra stirring hand when you're making a soup.
Take a ride in his coupe, he makes you wanna shoop.
[Too $hort]
I'm starting to suspect that these dudes are gay.
It's none of my business, they just born this way.
I mean, how many times you gon' mention your homie's dick
But still try to act like this song is for chicks?
So ladies be warned before you hop under the covers,
They might be fucking you but they'll be thinking 'bout each other.
The compliments, bitch!