Оригинален текст
Baby - Stephen Lynch
This is for my little girl
My lady gives birth today
I run to her room right away
She smiles with glee and hands her to me
I look at my newborn and say
d*mn that's an ugly baby
d*mn that's an ugly as* baby
I'm feeling quite concerned
My s*men must have turned
'Cause d*mn that's an ugly baby
I can't believe this came from me
I think her mom did too much
she's skinny like a twig
at least her nuts are big
but the placenta is cuter than she
d*mn that's an ugly baby
God d*mn that's an ugly as* baby
I can't take her home today
She'll scare the dog away
'cause d*mn that's an ugly baby
And when she smiles I find
Shane McGowen comes to mind
It makes me want to cry
When I look into her good eye
I always wanted kids
Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?
Then the doctor calls me in
Mr. Lynch she has a twin
d*mn that's a good-lookin' baby
One for two on the good lookin' babies
I almost start to weep
Now this one we can keep
cause that was an ugly ass...
d*mn that's an ugly baby (x4)
She's got one good tooth and one ear and one eye
And thank god just one nose but it's on her left thigh
Now doctor I am asking you guy to guy
Would a really really really late term abortion still fly?
Oh no, I don't want no ugly baby
I said d*mn that's an ugly as* baby