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What day is it today?
Oh me oh my oh
Tonight is Cinco de Mayo
I hope I dont end up sh**faced
Down in some bayou
With some strangers dirty mitts
Feelin up my tits
See Ive been drinkin a lot
Since youve been gone
The way that you left me
Was so fuckin wrong
Its like you went on that tv show
And gave me the gong
The gong show; remember?
Oh yeah!
Two weeks notice
would ve been nice
Couldve thought about it
Couldve gotten some good advice
I know in the end
Youre gonna wanna be my mother f***in friend
But right now I just wish you were dead
I wish you were dead
With a hole in your head
Your blood on the sidewalk oozing bright red
Your body strapped down with a hundred thousand hand grenades
Youre a really great dancer
But I wish you had cancer
Or maybe mouth and genital herpes is the answer
How much better off the world would be
If you had Hepatitis C
I know it sounds mean
To say all this
But I wish you had kidney stones
So that it would hurt you real bad when you take a piss
I wish, after all my words were spoken
Youd fall from a tree and your legs would get broken
Im really not kiddin
I wish that you were no longer livin
I wish you were not breathin
And that the spirit from your body was leavin
I wish that satan would rise up from the earth
With his firey red hands
Rip you into two pieces
And take you back down to hell
Where you belong
I really wish you were dead!