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The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend
Well I Got Home and the door was locked
And I tried to ring the bell
I found a little bitty note that she had wrote
Telling me to go to hell
I crawled in the window, I got inside
She kicked me in the balls, and then I cried
Called me a name, said I lied
Kicked me again and I thought I died
Took my clothes, set em on fire
And hit me with her curling iron
I tried to block it with my watch
And then she kicked me in the crotch . . . again
Yeah todays the day my wife met my girlfriend
Well I tried to tell her but she didnt care
Things werent what they seemed
She had a pan on the stove full of boiling water
And my nads would soon be steamed
I tried to run, scream for help
She hit me in the nerts with a Rhinestone belt
It was like nothing that I ever felt
I thank god I wasnt wearing a kilt
She grabbed a bat from beneath the bed
She swung it once and then she missed my head
She reared back, swung it again and
Then she hit me in the twins . . . again
Yeah todays the day my wife met my girlfriend
Yeah todays that awful day,
Hey, my boys wont be the same
Yeah todays the day my wife met my girlfriend