Men And Women

Men and Women Rodney Carrington

You women have so much power in your pants you have no clue. You have to much power! That little hairy critter you got in you bridges causes more s**t than anything else in this world. If I had a tw*t in my bridges Id be in a hotel room right now with eight guys, cause Im a big old h*ar. You have to much power. You can .in the front yard and tell your man: Now you go out there and eat that, when you come back, you can have some! You know what hed do? Whah whah! He d come running back into the house with a chocolate ring around his lips. I did it!!. You stupid son of a b*tch, I was kiddin. Well, I still get the p*ssy dont I? Well no, you got s**t in your mouth!
Thank god for hands. Im 34 years old, I more now than I did when I discovered it. When I discovered it, I loved it: Man, this feels great. What the fk was that? I cant see! I cant see!
How many women masturb*te? Look, 10 of you! Horses**t! Is that a 14 biljon dollar a year d*ldo business I think it is. Then 10 women out here keeping it going. Horses**t!
Women do it. I just do it in private. Found her hanging against the washingmachine while folding clothes. Whooooooooo s**t! What are you doing? Im folding clothes!!!! s**t, and I watched. And then men get all the s**t, cause were the h*rny ones, you know? Youre always h*rny. Thats all you ever wanna do! I KNOW! Because one of us had to be. One of us had to be the h*rny ones. Theres men en theres women. One of us had to be the h*rny ones. So its men. Women dont think like we do. Theyre emotional creatures. If they did, wed all in a big right now. Which would be a hell of a lot of fun.
Thats why men created sports. Men created sports cause they get tired of thinking about p*ssy 24 hours a day. Because sex is all about find them a girl, getting in the little spot. Find her, get there. Its all its about. And if you look at sports its the same way cause men created them. Footbal! Upright through the middle! We put hair on the post is it wouldnt too offensive. Basketball: 2 hole, 5 guys fighting 5 other guys for a hole. Just like being in a nightclub! And off course tennis was invented by a women, cause thats just her doing: Back and forth, back and forth.. Which goes back to the power-issue. If there is an argument at my house, my wife can take the puss, run in another room and hold it hostage. All of a sudden I am a hostage-negotiator. Have you harmed the hostage in any way? Press the hostage against the window so I can see it. Why is the hostage smoking white sigar? We know you got demands, what are they? She wants to go shopping. s**t! And a new car. fck! She wants a helicopter. God d*mn we can do that I tell you . a helicopter, Helicopter, HELICOPTER ,HELICOPTER !!
Thanks a lot everybody for coming out. I hope you had a great time. I did! Thank you! Good night. Thank you very much.