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Remember I made you eat crab appleAnd you were sick for a weekThen I stuck your sucky up the chimney’till you cried for a weekThen I killed your canary with the hair dryerAnd kicked you just to see you bruisePurple and blueI was only joking my dearDidn’t mean to hurt you all those yearsThought that they were really laughter tearsI was only joking my dearOh dearRemember I told everyone you went all the wayWith that fella from artaneAnd all the blokes called you seven starsWhen we were on our way to mass with maThen to make matters worse when you blushedI called you beetrout and tomato headPurple and redI was only joking my dearDidn’t mean to hurt you all these yearsThought that they were really laughter tearsI was only joking my dearRemember I borrowed your favorite jeansTook them in and cut them at the seamsSo they’d fit meYou went ballistic when I called your boyfriendChancre head and made ashtrays from yourBread records...Oh well, what the hell, you got your own backPurple and blackI was only joking my dearDidn’t mean to hurt you all these yearsThought that they were really laughter tearsI was only joking my dearI was only joking my dearDidn’t mean to hurt you all those yearsThought that they were really laughter tearsI was only joking my dearOh dear