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(Scratches in)
Go back to your dorm you got your roommates and that never works out.
(Crowd laughs)
That never works out. They dont want it to work out they they want it so
its like a Real World episode in your dorm room. (Crowd Laughs) Like I dont
understand like they have those compatibility tests you filled out at the
beginning of the year thats such a joke that test you fill out of the
beginning of the year its like
(in character voice ::student::) Umm I like rock and roll I like staying out
late and I love the ladies oh yea OOOO!
(Crowd Laughs)
(As adult) Okay weve got a perfect roommate for you hes an opera major, hes
a narcoleptic and hes gay so go fight each other weve got four camera angles
thatll be perfect welcome to college go screw your self
(as student) HUH yeah thats what we say here go ahead.
(Jimmy Normally) Then you think you say okay I got Pete my buddy from high
school is coming up hes gonna be my room mate its gonna be awesomeNo that is
never awesome it doesnt work out No it doesnt (Laughter) hate to tell you
you will fight each other you will just get you just get I tell you why one
is they have too much dirt on you your friend from home has too much dirt
theyll kill you theyll crush you in an argument for no reason like you just
say
Hey man the dishes have been in the sink for two weeks man theyre your dishes
are you going to clean them or what?
(Roommates voice) Yea you remember when you had crabs in sixth grade
(Crowd Laughs) LONG PAUSE
Not fair to bring up my crabs.