A gangsta's fairytale

story-teller] once upon a time, in the black part of the city
[young kid] yo g, yo g you better get out of here man, 5-0
[door swings shut, car peels out]

[russ] yo ice cube, man
[cube] whassup man?
[russ] why you...
[cube] whassup?
[russ] yo ice cube man, why you always kickin the shit about the bitches
And the niggaz? why don’t you kick some shit about the kids, man? the
Fuckin kids? !
[cube] word

Verse one: ice cube

Little boys and girls, they all love me
Come sit on the lap of i-c-e
And let me tell ya a story or two
About a punk-ass nigga I knew
Named jack, he wasn’t that nimble, wasn’t that quick
Jumped over the candlestick and burnt his dick
Ran up the street cause he was piping hot
Met a bitch named jill on the bus stop
Dropped a line or two, and he had the hoe
At that type of shit he’s a pro
So jack and jill ran up the hill to catch a lil nap
Dumb bitch, gave him the claps
Then he had to go see dr. bombay
Got a shot in the ass, and he was on his way
To make some money, why not?
Down on sesame street, the dope spot
There he saw the lady who lived in a shoe
Sold dope out the front, but in back, marijuana grew
For the man that was really important
Who lived down the street in a air jordan
Ride to the fellow mister rogers and hoes
Drove a 500 sittin on lorenzoes
He broke out, little bo peep, smoked out
Saw, her and her friends sellin sheepskins

[little bo peep] yo yo I got them sheepskins
Yo, my empty sheepskins
Yo baby, what’s up with that?

Hickory dickory dock, it was twelve o’clock
Cinderella ain’t home must be givin up the cock
I don’t doubt it, she is kind of freaky of course
Had a fight with snow white, she was fuckin her dwarfs
Saw a fight over colors, too
Red riding hood, and little boy blue
A bad influence? yo I don’t know
But ice cube’ll tell the kids how the story should go

Interlude: little russ

Yeah money, that’s it, yeah money, that’s it
This is little russ in the house
Rock that shit homey, rock that shit!
[well, you know the rest]

Verse two: ice cube

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
With a joint, drinkin some 8-ball
Three little pigs in a coup de ville
Lookin for, the wolf to kill
They’re fucked up and they want revenge
Them and humpty used to be friends
Now they’re enemies cause he’s a traitor
Pulled out the uzi cruised by and sprayed him
Cinderella hoeing for the fellas
And mister rogers is gettin mighty jealous
Of the cash that the pigs were makin
Time for the pigs to get turned to bacon
Cause mister rogers found out quick
That humpty dumpty was blown to bits
They said that the motherfuckin wolf was next
So mister rogers better watch his step
So he let the wolf know
We’re gonna fuck up the pigs, and take their ho
Cause cinderella is much too fast
Before twelve, givin up ass
Double barrels all loaded and cocked
As soon as they show, they gonna get popped
They bailed down sesame street and caught em
Little boy blue is up front givin orders
Little did they know cinderella was a fink
She called the cops and got thrown in the clink
A bad influence? yo, I don’t know
But ice cube’ll tell the kids how the stories should go

Outro: little russ, ice cube

[cube] aiyyo man was that dope enough for you?
[russ] yeah you aight, you in the house
We outta here, seeeee-yaaaaa
[cube] yeah you better go home before I whoop your little bad ass

[barney rubble] some bedtime story huh?
[bugs bunny] it’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t wanna live here

[andrew dice clay] ay, good ol’ mother goose, remember her? I fucked her