Dating Game

Talk show host :
And we’re back. Alright Becky, before our handsome bachelors reveal
themselves
you have one last question to ask before you decide to go on that
big date.

Becky :
OK. Handsome bachelor number one.
On our first date, where would you take me and how would you try
to impress me?

Bachelor 1 (Jay-Z) :
So that’s a… that’s a good question ma.
This is what I would do to impress you.
Well first of all, you know where I might take you ?
I might take you over Dame’s house.

Becky :
Oh, really?

Bachelor 1 :
Cus my girl’s at the crib. And… then what I would do is…
I’d get you the finest drink, of course it’s gonna have ice in it.
And I don’t mean frozen water… huh, ya know?!

Becky :
That’s so sweet.

Bachelor 1 :
And uh… what else would I do to really…
I’d take you to Rodeo Drive, of course. Of course.

Becky :
I love Rodeo.

Bachelor 1 :
Ima take you to Rodeo and show you all the beautiful stores
and what you could have if your record goes number one like mine haha.
That’s what I would do to… pretty impressive ain’t it?

Becky :
OK, sounds like fun.
Same question, handsome bachelor number two.

Bachelor 2 (U-God from Wu-tang?) :
Yo, to impwess you to take you out on a perfect womantic date,
My idea for that is… to pick you up in a Wu mobile, bwought to
you by Cwysler.

Becky :
A Wu mobile?

Bachelor 2 :
You know, the cowabowation, that we just came wit.
And den, I take you upstate, to the amusement park, Wu-tang
amusement parks.

Becky :
Ooh, I love parks!

Bachelor 2 :
Word, we wide all kinda wollercoasters and fewwis wheels.

Becky :
Mm, that’s my favorite!

Bachelor 2 :
Eat all kinda cotton candy, popcorn and shit.
And den, to welax you, or you know, give you a beauty treatment,
I’ll take you down to the Wu spa.
We got all the special manicuwists out there, you know, putting it down.

Becky :
Sounds good.

Bachelor 2 :
And to end all the night, you know, maybe we’ll have a womantic dinner.
Order out some Chinese food fwom Wu delivewy. We dewiwer 24 hours a day.
Word. Just call us on the tewephone, hit me, or…
Or you could hit me on the 2-way, or Bwackbwewwy account.

Becky :
Wow! That maybe difficult to top!
What would you do handsome bachelor number three?

Bachelor 3 (Rev. Don Magic Juan? Don King? no clue) :
Yeah, listen. Can you repeat that question again please?

Becky :
Oh, ok. You want me to repeat the question?
OK, on our first date, where would you take me and how would you
try to impress me?

Bachelor 3 :
That is a very good question. Heh, you’re very charming.

Becky :
Thank you!

Bachelor 3 :
Well, on the first date with me is… is very exciting.
I would, of course, take you wherever you wanted to go.
If the plans was up to me, I would take you… to uh… to NASA.

Becky :
Lovely!

Bachelor 3 :
What we would do is we would take a trip up that elevator
And we would go and look at the stars, and I will pack us a
picnic basket.

Becky :
Sweet

Bachelor 3 :
And I would have us all kinds of… alcohol beverages.
I would whip out… that’s right… I would whip out a diamond necklace.
Put it around you sweet, skinny neck.
And touch you in places that no doctor has ever discovered
on you before.

Becky :
Wow

Bachelor 3 :
And then I would slowly caress your breasts
Work my way down to your… sweet lovin thighs, and then…

Talk show host :
OK, time’s up.
We’ll find out your answer, Becky, after this commercial break