Jingle Bells

[Bob Rivers:]
Yo, yo

[Girl as Dina Rae:]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
Grab your coat, you’ll be okay in LA

[Bob Rivers as Eminem:]
It’s just a white Christmas (hello my man)
I’m leaving blood in the snow and smacking fat men
You mean Santa, that boy’s a bitch
He caught my mom “Christmas cheatin’” tryin’ to give her kiss
Fo’ real he’s no joke, that guy don’t play
He tried to ride way more than a one-horse-sleigh
Laughing all the way, but he’s not laughing today
Jingle more than his bells, even the elves with pay
COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK’S A GONNER!
We’ll be snacking on deer, EATIN’ Blitzen and Donor
Not a question of when, not even a maybe
Have a drunk Mrs. Clause saying, “Jizzlin’ Baby!”
Give a new meaning to “ho, ho, ho”
Shake that ass girl, bump your booty in the snow
So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll
We’ll be strippin’ that sleigh and leave you [in the] cold

[Girl as Dina Rae:]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
Grab your coat, you’ll be okay in LA

[Bob Rivers as Eminem:]
Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend
Grab Rudolph’s horns, see how far they bend
When the snow turns bad, hand jacks off in bed
Back out to the woods with his faggy elf friend
Oh, Santa Claus did molest me last night
In fact, could have me listed as ‘naughty’ twice
Not cuz’ of the fight, or the Christmas gift hype,
Because of the nog, I left on his white
It’s time for old nick to move and retire
Or we roast his nuts on a bigass fire
Yes I’m that bad, Yes, I’m that cruel
I mean your ass is huge, lose weight, for real dude
All the cookies and milk, simply quite quick
I mean, when’s the last time you’ve seen your dick
I don’t mean to throw a fit and I’m not one to bitch
But every year I get underwear, socks, and shit

[Girl as Dina Rae:] (Bob Rivers as Eminem:)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
Grab your coat, you’ll be okay in LA
(yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey
(yo, yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
Grab your coat, you’ll be okay in LA

[Santa Clause:]
Ho, Ho, Ho!!!

[Gunshot]