Criminal

[Eminem]A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questionsA lot of people think that.. what I say on recordsor what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real lifeor that I believe in itOr if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that.. I'm actually gonna do itor that I believe in itWell, shit.. if you believe thatthen I'll kill youYou know why?Cuz I'm aCRIMINALCRIMINALYou god damn rightI'm a CRIMINALYeah, I'm a CRIMINAL[Eminem]My words are like a dagger with a jagged edgeThat'll stab you in the headwhether you're a fag or lezOr the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vestPants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobicStarin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of emThey belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of emHey, it's me, VersaceWhoops, somebody shot me!And I was just checkin the mailGet it? Checkin the 'male'?How many records you expectin to sellafter your second LP sends you directly to jail?C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay menRight, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)Please Lord, this boy needs JesusHeal this child, help us destroy these demonsOh, and please send me a brand new carAnd a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospitalPreacher preacher, fifth grade teacherYou can't reach me, my mom can't neitherYou can't teach me a goddamn thing causeI watch TV, and Comcast cable and you ain't able to stop these thoughtsYou can't stop me from toppin these chartsAnd you can't stop me from droppin each Marchwith a brand new cd for these fuckin retardsDuhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' meMr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave[Chorus] Eminem (repeat 2X)I'm a CRIMINALCuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crimeto tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINALbut I don't gotta say a word, I just flip emthe birdand keep goin, I don't take shit from no one[Eminem]My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speedThe baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeedIt was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as sheDon't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was meI'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazedBut how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?So as I got older and I got a lot tallerMy dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got largerI drink malt liquor to fuck you up quickerthan you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oralSex in his Oval Office on top of his deskOff of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid meYou can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired and my nose is pointyI'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes and laughsAs long as it ain't happened to himSlim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's inReplacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it todayHe's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his faceDon't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the placeI told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away